Marriage Part II: Let's Talk About...

In my first blog about marriage and how it reflects the Trinity, it didn't really capture the multi-layered relationship that exists between couples. Ideally, marriage isn't just a symbol, and it isn't a two-dimensional, stale institution devoid of emotion. If it is for you, your relationship doesn't exactly live up to its potential as created by God. Let's return to the idea that God created an equal companion to man. He'd been busy creating and then declaring his creations good repeatedly until this moment. Suddenly, after creating man he broke this pattern and stated it "wasn't good that man should be alone." It wasn't until He created a female counterpart that He said his creation of humanity was good.

Of course, us women are amazing.

However, it wasn't just because of our general awesomeness that He declared humanity good and complete. It was because, now, man had a friend, a helper, a lover, and a person whose strengths matched his weaknesses. If you focus on the "help-meet" part, you miss the point. Animals can be excellent helpers in many ways for riding long distances, carrying heavy things, and even delivering messages (carrier pigeons are pretty cool). Yet, despite their ability to snuggle, they would never carry the same mental and emotional support another person would. Enter: women. We're all about that mental and emotional support... generally speaking.

Passion: It isn't always sexual. It's part of the drive for connection between a couple. It can come out in many ways through various emotions. Marriage can be like a rollercoaster; love, passion, and trust are what forms the safety bars and belts to keep us inside the ride.

We can't speak on passion without mentioning the Song of Solomon, the book of the Bible most likely to make you blush. We won't go into all the breasts like towers or gazelle necks (I'm sure it sounds more poetic in the original language). Song of Solomon has been interpreted to signify everything from romance to politics to the relationship between God and Israel. If you read it as a layperson, however, you'll agree it seems like a simple love song, meant to be sung as a duet. When you were a teen, did you ever write about a crush in your diary or journal? Bet it sounded like this.

"Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love." Song of Solomon 2:5

Gotta love the spirit of young love in this book, but it illustrates perfectly the passion and joy a married couple is meant to experience.

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3

After all, God created both pious love and romance, friendship and lovers. There's nothing scandalous in it.

"Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine." Song of Solomon 1:2

That's probably because, in my opinion, wine tastes disgusting, but the point is that the two are drunk off their love for each other. The point is: marriage is about all of this. Of course, there's a point in life when we are all just a little older and a little less likely to scamper for each other's embrace.

"Listen! My beloved! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills." Song of Solomon 2:8

We shouldn't lose that joy for each other even in mature love. Our marriage may be less showy leaves and overhanging branches and more deep-reaching roots, like two trees that tangle one to the another until they are in essence one.

Yes, romance and lust are holy. I know this concept may push against all things you've been taught, at least by the world. In fact, in the past, religion, especially Christianity, became crossed with worldly confusion to the point passion and sex were considered a taboo topic, even within matrimony. It still is an uncomfortable subject for many. This is why I'm writing this today. They are but a reflection of the passion and joy that lies within the unity of the Trinity.

Here's a good place to discuss actual sexual immorality. I'm not going to describe what that encompasses for the sake of propriety (You can look that up easily in the Bible). However, I will state that immorality and sin are actions that cause harm, even if you can't see it immediately. Sexual immorality is mainly harmful to the soul.

There is confusion concerning a separation between body and soul. That, actually, is a Greek philosophy, not a God idea, despite the fact that some churches have adopted the concept. Either the body was typically seen as the evil that the soul was fighting against or the body's actions was seen as separate and, therefore, not affecting the soul. Both of those ideas are wrong.

As described by the Bible, there exists no duality in our being. We are a being of clay infused with God's breath and spirit. When Jesus was resurrected, they didn't find His body and then come across His soul in the street. His body was gone from the grave. Then, Jesus showed back up WITH His body when the disciples ran into Him later. This makes the idea of coming back to life even wilder. You see what you get, guys.

When you commit sexual immorality, you are committing it with your soul, your entire being. Likewise, when it says to treat your body as a temple for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), that's because treating your body well is also treating your soul well. Consider this: If you and your spouse "become one" (Mark 10:8) and you sin, aren't you also sinning against your spouse? Interesting.

Aside from immorality, passion and romance is holy and an act of unity between two souls in love. It is what God intended for us to experience in marriage.

I wrote a poem while back that I'll share with you today because it wraps this subject up well. Whether you take it to mean romantic passion or holy fervor is up to you. (Disclaimer: I write poetry for fun not perfection.)

**

I, your flame

I burn
I burn, a kindled fire
Out of control
Flames lick my arms
Travel up my legs
Escape from the top of my head
Like a torch, lighting up the dark night
This dark night
Our grim life
Yet I burn
and You, a wind, fuel my inner flame
You, a hurricane, sweep my inferno into the skies
The stars dim in the passion
I am utterly without shame now
You are my storm
I am your blaze
Caught up in the fury of your joy

**

Steward of the Kingdom of God

You've probably heard the parable of the talents.

If not, Matthew 25:14-30 tells a story of a traveling master and his servants who remain in his home. They are expected to be stewards of his household while he's absent, and he gives one servant five talents (a type of currency), one servant two talents, and one servant a single talent. When the master returns, he asks about his money. The one with five talents invested and ended up with ten talents. The one with two talents did the same and ended up with four talents. However, the servant with one talent was afraid that he would lose the only money his master gave him, and he buried it so no one could steal it. The master was overjoyed with the first two, giving them even more ("Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!’"). Yet he was angered with the last for "playing it safe" and not investing his money.

Honestly, this was always a very confusing parable to me until a friend of mine described one interpretation. The word "talent" in Greek means a measurement, which could be used to weigh a sum of precious metal. Basically, a talent was a certain amount of money. The parable in Matthew is the origin of the use of the word "talent" to mean "gift or skill."

I have a passion (and hopefully skill) for writing. I have a vivid memory of sitting on the front porch as a child, making up stories with pictures and creating a book. I stapled printer paper with sloppy drawings and declared it a success. At about eleven, I wrote family newspapers, with the very first created on an old typewriter. At about twelve or thirteen, I received my very own computer. That was when poems and short stories started pouring from my fingertips.

God gives us all gifts and talents to steward in His name. This world and our lives (the master's home) are not ours but His, and our talents are not our own but His given to us for a time. What does it mean to steward? One definition would be:

"One employed in a large household or estate to manage domestic concerns (as the supervision of servants, collection of rents, and keeping of accounts), a fiscal agent, one who actively directs affairs" (Merriam-Webster).

In another words, this parable points toward the responsibility we have all been given to steward God's things. What are God's things? That would be everything: time, talents, energy, emotion, material objects (including literal money), and anything else you can imagine. Although we can not see God in the flesh (at least that we are aware of), this is still His world and you merely live in it. So, what does he expect us to do with His things?

Invest it. When you invest in your talents and utilize them for God, He will make it "reap where you don't sow", doubling, tripling the effect of your efforts in the world and in your life (like multiplying the fishes and loaves). You utilize the gifts and talents He gives when you:

1) Give credit for their presence to God. Praise and gratefulness will bring not only a healthier, happier attitude, but will bring joy into others' lives, spreading the blessings of God beyond you. It keeps your eyes pointing to the One responsible for it all.

2) Grow in your skills, but understand you don't need to be perfect to invest. The third servant only had one skill given to him. Don't become lazy, static, or fearful. Be always moving, sometimes stretching to the point of discomfort. Ask for God to guide you. As they say, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." You may not be the best but all the better so that your successes will give God the glory, which folds into the next on the list.

3) Use your gifts and talents for God's glory. This can mean many things. If you are good at cooking, you could volunteer at a soup kitchen or bring hot meals to the infirm or elderly. You could also serve homey dinners to your family and bring chicken soup to your friend when they're ill. If you are good at compassion, talking, telling jokes, you could be a volunteer at the local hospital, visit nursing homes and hospitals where there are many lonely or in need of entertainment. You could also visit your own grandparents or babysit a child to allow your friend a date night with her husband. If you are good at singing, you could sing Godly songs to the world, whether that's on stage or in your child's ear as a lulluby. Basically, whatever you do, let it point to God and his ways of light (truth) and love (compassion and charity).

4) Let them be part of your discipleship. This actually spins off of the last suggestion. When you use your gifts and talents for His glory, you also bring people into a better knowledge of what it means to be a child of God. It spreads His good news of being our savior, and it points to hope in a broken world.

Let me be clear, your skills and talents may exist outside of your paid work. Other times, they're part of your 9-5. Your talents may exist in your kindness with those going through a tough time, patience with angry customers, and lifting spirits of grieving hearts. Your gifts may include children, spouse, parents, friends, and you are expected to lead, guide toward the truth, love them unconditionally, and raise (children) to be good stewards and disciples themselves.

There's a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Do Everything," which I believe encapsulates this idea. Whether you're "picking up toys on the living room floor for the fifteenth time today," "you may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers," but it all matters equally in the eyes of God. Do not waste this moment by burying your talent in fear of rejection or using up all of God's gifts for only your own personal gain.

I've felt from a young age that writing is my calling. For this reason, I have started this very blog to use my joy in writing to spread my love of God. What is your talent, and what gifts could you invest today?

Every moment is a gift. Whether sweeping up the school halls or running for president, may you forever remember that God gave you this moment to be a steward of His mansion, and He gave you the talents to invest in spreading the Kingdom of God to the world.