Compassion Fatigue

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. -Galatians 6:9

"Police say they've found DNA evidence connecting the suspect to a woman who gave birth in a vegetative state."
"The brutal truth behind the shutdown."
"Iowa's 'fetal heartbeat' abortion restriction declared unconstitutional."
"Opinion: Why Gillette's ad slamming toxic masculinity is drawing cheers -- and anger."
"Dozens of children get cancer in suburb."

These are just a few random articles I found under the CNN website today. CNN isn't unique. Most news outlets will sound just the same. Maybe they'll have a slightly different perspective, a lean into another direction, but in the end, it's mostly bad news 24/7. Do you recall any other time in known history when world-wide news was so immediately accessible, each event written of in hundreds of articles the moment it happens? We can listen on the radio, watch it on TV, on the internet, tune into a news podcast, enter a news chatroom, watch tweets and Snaps and Facebook links pop up like flies on a corpse. Bad news gets more attention and therefore more coverage.

However, there's many downsides to this instant and constant melodrama, one of which is compassion fatigue or vicarious traumatization.

This is the "indifference to charitable appeals on behalf of those who are suffering, experienced as a result of the frequency or number of such appeals." (dictionary.com)

Every time we hear or see bad news, we naturally rise up internally to the cause, feeling compassion, sympathy, and possibly a drive to help. However, once it becomes an all day, every day thing, we can become apathetic, exhausted by the constant pleas, and feel hopeless in being able to do anything. This is in direct opposition to what God desires but so is the constant diet of bad news.

You are not God. You are incapable of helping everyone and championing every cause. So, it seems illogical to subject yourself to a daily dose of what's wrong with the world.

There's nothing wrong in being informed, but what that meant just 50 years ago versus now is a completely different picture. Speaking of the 60's, there were two modes of news, well three if you count word of mouth, the daily newspaper and TV news (only on at certain times of the day). You had to go out of your way to find out the goings on of the world.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:7-8

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

There's a very prominent Biblical figure who took on too many of others' problems. Here's what he was told.

When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?” And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God; when they have a dispute, they come to me and I decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and his laws.” Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone. Now obey my voice; I will give you advice, and God be with you! You shall represent the people before God and bring their cases to God, and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws, and make them know the way in which they must walk and what they must do. Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. And let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you, but any small matter they shall decide themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. If you do this, God will direct you, you will be able to endure, and all this people also will go to their place in peace.” -Exodus 18:14-23

You may be called to be caregivers, messengers, and disciples, but you can't do it all. If you are particularly moved to help someone or a cause, that is God moving through you. A lack of compassion or feeling when you see the evening news is a sign you need to see less of it. You can help your next door neighbor with groceries, you can lift up a stranger in need, you can support the education of a child in Nicaragua, or save the life of a family in China --- but you can't save the world. Let God do that, and He'll tell you where you're needed. Even Mother Teresa wrote to her superiors about the need for nuns to take an entire year off from their duties every 4-5 years to allow them to heal from care-giving work; self-care is essential. (Psst: Check out my past posts on the Sabbath).

Learn about the bigger matters of the world or your community and then shut the news off, unsubscribe to the news on Facebook, and preserve your sanity and sympathy so it's there when God calls on you to spread love to the world.

Love news but want to find out about the many happy and uplifting things that are happening world-wide? Here's some places to start:

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/
https://www.ted.com/#/
http://gimundo.com/
https://www.happynews.com/
https://www.today.com/news/good-news
http://www.dailygood.org/
https://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news


Sources other than Bible:
http://www.compassionfatigue.org/
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/01/health/bad-news-bad-health/index.html
https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/what-all-this-bad-news-is-doing-to-us.html
https://www.complex.com/life/2015/08/the-apathy-generation
https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue/

Forgiveness - What It's Not

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. - Matthew 6:14-15

Forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting that a person has wronged you, it's not saying that what they did was okay, and it's certainly not lying down as a doormat to let them wrong you again. God is the best at forgiveness, and His patterns as shown clearly in the Bible will enable us to understand what forgiveness is and how to apply it in our own lives.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. - Matthew 6:12

Forgiveness, as described in the Bible, is concerning the repayment of a debt. If you did something to destroy X, then you now owe me something equal to X. This can be seen with the concept of sin and sacrifices made to clear Israel's sins. The problem with the Old Testament sacrifices was that the repayment was not equal to the debt. Why? Well, because God didn't REALLY care about scorched meat. He cared about the heart of the person sacrificing. If the person did the act without a heart of repentance, then the sacrifice meant nothing. He was looking for the repentance and the owning up to the fact they sinned.

For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, - Psalm 51:16-17

When Jesus died on the cross, He was a great enough sacrifice to repay the debt as He was sinless. Yet, who really sacrificed? God did. So, where do we come in this, since we're the ones who owe the debt? We repent. Actually, that's all He wanted. So, why the death? Well, because the punishment of sin is death. In fact, sin creates death (figurative and literal), so we must die. However, God didn't want us to be under the permanency of death's hold if we changed our hearts and repented. Therefore, if we repent without God's grace, death is still inevitable. Someone must still die. Jesus died in our place so the death of our souls would no longer be inevitable. Now, as long as we repent, we are not under the second death's hold. He cleared our debt for us.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 6:23

Okay, so what does this have to do with you and how you should forgive? Well, look at others wronging you as sinning against you because that's exactly what it is. They sinned, and they technically still owe a debt to you. What if they don't regret what they did? What if they never apologize? What if they repeatedly sin against you or would in the future?

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. - Matthew 18:15-17

Do as God does and separate yourself, just like the Jews separated themselves from pagans and tax collectors. Sometimes, we think that, as Christians, we should stay and forgive and try to save this person in front of us. In reality, if they don't want to be helped and repeatedly harm you (or would in the future; be honest with yourself), they don't deserve to have you around. You are God's Child. You are royalty. Remove yourself from their presence. Even God does this! Are you better able to save or forgive than God? No.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. - Psalm 103:10-12

“Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” - Isaiah 1:18

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. - 1 John 1:9

To forgive is NOT to forget. It's not to stay in a harmful or toxic situation. It's not to allow others to take advantage of you.

So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” - Luke 17:3-4

If someone repents, you should forgive them. That doesn't mean forget or stay where they can harm you. It doesn't even mean trust.

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. - Isaiah 43:25

This verse doesn't mean literally forget. It means He'll put your sins behind Him. He still remembers everything.

One of the crazy things about God's love is how much He can love us and still allow us to fall, experience the consequences, and learn from our mistakes in an independent way. God's way is free will, and if that's the way God loves others, that's probably a great way for you to love others too.

Allow others to experience the natural consequences of their behavior, and if need be, separate yourself either temporarily or permanently, to allow them to experience those natural consequences. They may not learn from their mistakes or change their ways, but you're protecting yourself too. This is the way God loves.

It's a dichotomy of selflessness and self-respect that God shows, and you can see it clearly throughout the Bible. There is a verse that is misused, in my opinion, where Jesus tells His followers that if someone slaps you on one cheek, you should turn the cheek to allow them to slap you there too. This is misused to say people should allow disrespect and abuse. In reality, it's the opposite. I already wrote this in a separate post, but here's the run through of what Jesus really meant:

In the times Jesus lived in, the Roman government ruled over several other peoples, including the Jews. If a Roman soldier gave orders that a Jew disobeyed, it was typical of the soldier to backhand him or her across the face. The slap became known as a symbol that they looked at the Jews as inferior. Since most people are right-handed, if they backhanded someone, their right hand would strike a right cheek. However, if a soldier was ready to strike an equal, he would usually punch, which would strike a person's left cheek. This practice of slapping was so pervasive that Jesus gave Jews advice on how to deal with it.

Don't fight them and don't meekly accept their behavior. Turn the cheek. It was a sign of passive defiance. It's saying, "I demand to be treated as an equal." It forces the soldier to either hit them as an equal (instead of as a superior) or at least take a moment to realize how they are treating another human being. (Turn the Other Cheek: Rebellion Tips by Jesus)

In as much as He is a servant, He is also a King. Jesus was here as an example for our behavior. You are a servant to others, but you're also royalty by being a Child of God, the one true king.

Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in mercy. He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. - Micah 7:18-19

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. - Mark 11:25

It was necessary for the Christ to suffer and to rise from the dead the third day, and that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in His name to all nations. - Luke 24:46-47

Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. - Acts 3:19

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:13

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:31-32

Forgive, be forgiven, respect yourself, and respect other's free will to make mistakes or be horrible people. You're here to love, not to save everyone from themselves. Although God's always waiting with outstretched arms for a sinner's return, while a sinner is unrepentant, He allows them to separate themselves from Him.

Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. Isaiah 59:1-2

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, - Romans 1:24

Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. Ephesians 2:12

Forgiveness is a release of anger and condemnation that demands the wrongdoing be repaid. Let it go, and let God.


***


As an aside, here's a long verse that shows as an example God's forgiveness. He expresses toward the end how He allowed Israel to separate themselves from Him, which turned out to be destructive to them. However, they repented, so He's redeemed them, still holding them as cherished.

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Lead out those who have eyes but are blind, who have ears but are deaf. All the nations gather together and the peoples assemble. Which of their gods foretold this and proclaimed to us the former things? Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right, so that others may hear and say, “It is true.” “You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the LORD, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed— I, and not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “that I am God. Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?” This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “For your sake I will send to Babylon and bring down as fugitives all the Babylonians, in the ships in which they took pride. I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator, your King.” This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise. “Yet you have not called on me, Jacob, you have not wearied yourselves for me, Israel. You have not brought me sheep for burnt offerings, nor honored me with your sacrifices. I have not burdened you with grain offerings nor wearied you with demands for incense. You have not bought any fragrant calamus for me, or lavished on me the fat of your sacrifices. But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence. Your first father sinned; those I sent to teach you rebelled against me. So I disgraced the dignitaries of your temple; I consigned Jacob to destruction and Israel to scorn. - Isaiah 43

God's Hygge

In Me, you may have peace, but in the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. - John 16:33

If there's something that the world is in deep, desperate need of, it's peace. An Earth without war, sickness, division, abuse, and darkness of other kinds is coming. However, in the meantime, there's a kingdom of God that can live in and through you if you let it.

Sometimes, trends are just a mindless scrambling for something otherwise missing in our souls, but sometimes, they stumble into a lighter place, allowing people a glimpse of what can be with God.

Hue-gah - Danish word

Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down (2017, p. vi). - The Little Book of Hygge

Hygge is a semi-new trend, but it started with a Danish and Norwegian concept. No doubt this concept has always existed in some form throughout the world for ages now, but it's now been commercialized and deemed "in." It's a nice idea. Most people imagine fireplaces, fuzzy socks, a warm drink in hand, and family or a book to keep you company. It can be part of those things. It can also be part of a warm summer's evening, a dark front porch with the stars overhead, a crowded bus station, a DMV lobby, or just another day at work. Why? In reality, it exists within you, not in your environment. It's peace and joy.

Joy is not necessarily related to happiness, as it's defined by the Bible. This emotion and mindset settles into the marrow of your being as an ever present hope and solid rock on which to stand during the crashing waves of life. It's the knowledge that, no matter what else you may be feeling and experiencing at the moment, there is a true love that has prepared you for a home with many rooms.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. - James 1:2-3

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. - Psalm 47:1

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. - Ecclesiastes 9:7

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. - 1 Peter 1:8-9

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. - Psalm 27:6

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, - Romans 14:17

The kingdom of God resides in the Children of God and among them, in their fruits, in their peace and joy, and in the light of truth they spread with His Word. During our last blog post, we spoke about how making a change externally must begin with a change internally. This is what God is doing to heal the world. He brings His love and light-filled kingdom to our hearts first and, eventually, His kingdom will be on Earth.

And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. - Luke 17:20-21

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. - Colossians 3:15

Gratitude is a large part of hygge and the joy we find in God. We are surely thankful for all of God's blessings, including a warm, safe home to come back to, even if that home only exists as the kingdom thriving in our souls. It's good to take a moment to disconnect from the rat-race and connect with the moment you're in. You may hear God speaking. May you find God's hygge waiting for you.

New Year, Same Ol' You

No one tears a piece from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. If he does, he will tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one after drinking old wine desires new, for he says, ‘The old is good' -Luke 5:36-39

Happy New Year!

New Years are popular for resolutions. Most of us have a desire to be smarter, stronger, faster, bolder.... just better than before. The problem is, by February, most of us have fallen off the bandwagon. The reason is simple. We're trying to pour new wine into old wineskins. We're still us, the imperfect beings who've stumbled through every year before, stumbling right into this year too. Do you know what happens to old wineskins with new wine? They explode. New wine is generating gases that will expand any leather container it's inside. The old wineskin has stretched to accommodate the wine it held before and has hardened, making it impossible to expand any further. If you have new wine, you need a flexible new wineskin.

I find new meanings or deeper insights into Bible verses nearly every time I read them, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I find new insights into my testimonial experience too. When I was a pre-teen, I desired to know how to be as perfect as possible but found it impossible to follow or remember all the commands and guidelines listed in the Old Testament. I prayed to God for something I could remember throughout my life, so that no matter what I'd know I was doing the right thing. I heard the whisper of a single word: love.

What I've come to realize is God was telling me something more: Before I change your heart, nothing you do will be right.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and exult in the surrender of my body, a but have not love, I gain nothing. - 1 Corinthians 13

So, you have health, career, relationship, organization, inner peace goals. That's honorable to be willing to better yourself. It may have even become unavoidable that you need to change your life. Understand this: that goal will fail if you don't change internally. You shaped your life around your heart, so have you invited God to change your heart to reflect where your life will now go? You need a new heart if you want a new life, or your new life will explode from the inflexibility of your old heart.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. - Isaiah 43:18-19

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. - Ephesians 4:22-24

But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more? You observe days and months and seasons and years! - Galatians 4:9-10

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. - Ezekiel 36:26

Invite God into your journey, seek a change of heart, try to understand why your heart wouldn't let you make those needed improvements before now. We fail time and time again to be good and perfect, but we are nothing without God renewing our heart.

I know this all sounds vague. You need to know how to put this change of heart into practice. Of course, as expected, you need to speak with God and focus on your goals and how you want God to be a part of the process, your reasons for the goals, and your need for a renewal of Spirit.

In order to have a change of heart, you need to change your patterns of thought and the foundation for your current behaviors. This can be different for everyone. Let me give you an example.

I've wanted to run more for years. My patterns of thought, however, were hindering my progress. I wanted comfort after I came home from work, I'd tell myself I was tired after a long day, and I'd fall into a million "reasons" why I didn't need or want to run that day. To complicate things, I'd try to count calories and lump that together with running as part of my health goals. I'd get obsessed with calorie counting, get tired from low calories added to exercise, and burn out from trying to do it all on top of my normal responsibilities. I was used to coming home and sitting down, and nothing would get in the way of breaking my old patterns.

Last year, I decided to change my focus. I'd been feeling unhealthy and uncomfortable. My patterns of thought started up as I laced my shoes. I want to sit and read, I'm tired, I should spend time with the family, etc. etc. I couldn't fight the thoughts. If I shot one down, another would pop up. I listened to the excuses but continued to lace them up. I whined inside but still put in my earbuds. I felt and thought everything and paid attention to every bit of it... and went out and did it anyway. Like a bully that's being ignored, the thoughts would sometimes become bored and subside. Sometimes, they pop back up and demand my attention. As far as calorie counting, I voted against it. I'm not focusing on losing weight but being healthier, stronger, and happier. I'll love my body as the temple God says it is. I'll love myself as God loves me. I'll love my family by being an example for them and giving them a reason to join me. More, healthier calories means more energy to run faster. When you exercise, you feel deeply the bad food or the eating too much, so that helped somewhat. Either way, I chose love instead of punishment. My heart changed to see running as a meditation and form of joy. I feel alive and free.

Sometimes, I eat badly for a few weeks or put off running. That's okay. I'm gentle with myself. My soul wasn't meant for strict, unrelenting things but for cycles and undulating waves. I sense God in this change. I speak to Him on my runs.

Your journey may be different. Set goals, but remember, for new wine, you need a new wineskin.