Marriage Part I: Beyond Mankind

Marriage is a concept as ancient as time itself, but it's been riding a rollercoaster of interpretation throughout humanity's existence. Whether the institution has been used for prosperity, security, business-like partnership, procreation, romantic love, societal expectation, companionship, convenience, status, or alliance, it's only ever meant one thing to God. Do you know what that would be?

If you say love, you aren't wrong, but the kind of love you're imagining may be skewed by worldly influence. You know what? Let's start at the beginning, the very beginning, before mankind.

The Alpha and Omega: Even before the Father spoke to the Son about making people in Their image and the Holy Spirit hovered above a formless Earth, God has existed in three. No doubt, in making us in Their image, They also made us need one another. However, since we're imperfect, we're also great at fighting that fact. We pride ourselves for independence and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.

"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24

One flesh. They aren't even two beings living their lives together because that could be a simple friendship. Marriage is two becoming one. Ideally, they are a unit, moving in tandem toward a single goal. I say ideally because we're still imperfect, and therefore, everything we do is too.

“'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6

Marriage is so unlike humanity, isn't it? Throughout our history, we've been on the move from country to country, changing our society, our customs, our language, our technology, and our very principles. We're never satisfied for long, and if left to our own devices, we go in circles from generation to generation, forever changing, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. That "let no one separate" imparts a sense of permanency very rare in the world.

"For I am the Lord, I change not..." Malachi 3:6

"Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." James 1:17

That is why He's our rock. We desperately need a solid place to hold onto in the moving sands of humanity. This sense of unity, unchanging loyalty, and inseparable love is what the Trinity wants His children to joyfully experience. Marriage is a symbol of the Trinity, born from His own state of existence.

This is a great place to mention divorce. Divorce is technically never good. The separation of any part of the Trinity is impossible, so any parting from that permanence and unity of that Godly love is not good. It'd be great if we could just never be harmful or abusive to one another and if loyalty and trust were forever for all marriages. This isn't so. God would never want you to stay in a harmful environment. If you or your children are being abused in any way, separate yourselves from that evil. God is love, and He loves you. Besides separating from an abusive situation, the hard truth is that God only permits actual divorce in one situation:

"Jesus answered, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning. Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”“Not everyone can accept this word,” Jesus answered, “but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'" Matthew 19:8-12

To me, He is essentially stating that, unless your spouse cheats, your "divorce" will potentially drive them to another partner (as we are all driven to companionship). Since God isn't recognizing it as a true divorce, you potentially caused them to cheat on you. Also, you're cheating on them if you move on. This is not to say you're sinning forever. Once you're married again, if you follow God's ways on marriage with the new relationship, you are forgiven (as you always can be). Even Jesus' disciples were shocked by this declaration, and Jesus basically told them if they didn't like it, then they didn't have to get married.

Marriage is not for everyone. Paul attested to the beauty of being a single follower of Christ in 1 Corinthians 7:7. Jesus said being unmarried in a good thing for some in Matthew 19:11. You can still get a sense of a Godly, solid partnership if use the same concept of the Trinity in other close relationships, particularly with believers.

As mentioned in the last post, submission also holds a large part in the structure of marriage, as it does in the Trinity. Marriage reflects, like a mirror, the Father (husband), the Son (wife), and the Holy Spirit (children). Submission is simply an act of servitude to others that all should follow, whether in authority or not. It's an act of love and respect. Jesus is in submission to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is in submission to both. The Father, in turn, serves the other two in equal respect.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33

If you confused or angered by the idea of submission, please read my last post on submission, just for clarification on the subject. Even better, read the Bible, and study the relationship of the Trinity. It's all good, and so submission and marriage is intended to be. In the above verse, the husband is to be held to the highest standard as he reflects the nature of the Father in the relationship, and as the Father utterly loves Jesus, so too should a husband act out of complete love for his wife.

Notice that Paul mentioned that marriage also reflects the hierarchy of love, submission, respect, and partnership of God and His people. A husband (whether or not the wife successfully serves him) is to nourish and sustain his wife in such a way that she thrives. A powerful woman is an asset and testament to a powerful man. In return (whether or not the husband successfully serves her), a wife is to be respectful to her husband, supporting him emotionally and spiritually. They are one, and if one falls, so too does the other.

If the partners and the good Lord decide that children are in their marriage plans, those children are Biblically called to be submissive to their parents (as is the Holy Spirit), serving in love and respect. In return, the parents need to act in love and respect as their authority figures while guiding their children's actions.

This all may seem obvious and maybe a bit repetitive. I'm only mentioning these things because we're all confused at times by life (I know I am), and we can get tangled in the mass of worldly marriage-how-to books and growing-children manuals. If you're ever in a situation where you don't know how to act with your partner or your child, remember the Trinity. You may be surprised how helpful that imagery is. God created it that way, after all.

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Okay, so there's more I want to say on marriage because there's so much more to it within the Bible. I'm not sure if it'll be my next post or not. Thank you for reading my blog! I have more in store for you next Saturday.

The Christian Dirty Word - Submission

Even among many Christians, this Biblical word is cringe-worthy, anxiety-inducing, and angering: submission. In the good US of A, where we pride ourselves on independence and rebellion, the word conjures an idea of cowering in the face of authority and accepting our fate. For women and feminists everywhere, the word brings to mind The Stepford Wives and living solely for our men's comfort and praise, pretending to be lesser beings.

Yet, invariably, although we may try to avoid it, someone will bring up this verse, usually twisting it for whatever purpose or point they're trying to make:

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-33

We're lucky if they even mention that the verse afterwards is all about husbands loving their wives. Most of us hang, as if to a life raft, struggling to explain it's not what they think, trying to keep our heads above the water before we drown in their disgust at our beliefs.

How about this verse?

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." Romans 13:1

How can you be a feminist if you believe in the same Bible that tells us women to subjugate ourselves to even abusive men? How do you reconcile being a patriotic American and also a doormat to corrupt leaders?

You can't, and you don't. Submission doesn't mean those things. Let's see what it means to God and His followers who wrote those words.

If anyone could be called a rebel against corrupt leaders, it would be God. If anyone could be called a feminist, it would be God. How do I know?

In the book of Exodus, God poured down wrath on a pharaoh who enslaved His people. In the book of Daniel, King Nebuchadnezzar and King Darius of Mede did many evil things to his subjects, but Daniel and his friends refused to compromise to their demands on matters of faith, refusing their food and refusing to bow down and worship a human. Jesus stormed into the temple courtyard, yelling, overturning tables, and driving people out with a whip because of greedy and hypocritical leaders. He stood up in innumerable public places and risked his life to teach radical ideas that ran counter to what religious and political leaders were teaching. He rebuked and challenged those leaders to their faces.

As concerns both the power of a female and facing a corrupt authority figure, consider the story of Esther. She became the wife of King Ahasuerus and queen of Persia. Secretly, she was a Jew, and she found out the king was to kill her people. There was a law that anyone who came before the king unbidden would be instantly killed. She wasn't bidden, but she came into his presence anyway to petition him for her people, thus becoming their hero at risk of her life.

Jesus had twelve main disciples, but many, many more followed his footsteps, including women. In His time, men were the only accepted students of Rabbis. However, Jesus taught women and accepted them in His travelling group of discipleship.

The stories of standing against corruption in leadership and illuminating the power of God's female followers are many if you take the time to find them.

Then, what on Earth does God mean when He says we must submit? I'll tell you that it doesn't mean what the world means by submit. The world is overrun by corruption, power-hungry authorities, and people of all kinds who will run you over if you display any weakness.

God is certainly not a doormat, so if He wants you to be just like Him, do you think He's asking you to be one?

So, what is submission to God? When in doubt, check out Jesus' actions:

"But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:44-45

A servant puts others before him/herself and respects those around them. Jesus displayed this when He washed His disciples' feet, an action only done by inferiors, not figures of authority.

"When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. 'Do you understand what I have done for you?' he asked them. 'You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.'" John 13:12-17

Do you understand? He expressed, with his actions, how to be submissive. It's interesting to note that submission shouldn't only come from inferiors but from leaders as well. Here's another verse:

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." Matthew 20:16

As followers or "inferiors" must submit to authority, authority figures must serve those below them. When you refuse to submit, to serve each other, as if you were above it all, you make yourself more inferior than anyone actually considered below you. This is not the worldly view nor is it the view the world wishes you to see God.

Okay, so what about women submitting to their husbands? I believe it is the same in many ways. Both spouses should submit to one another in the sense that they serve one another. Otherwise, as the authority figure in the household (Yes, the husband is indeed considered the authority in the hierarchy of a marriage. Hang with me for a moment.), the husband is not a good leader if he doesn't know how to submit (see Jesus' quote above about first being last). As concerns a man's authority in a marriage, the institution of marriage is a God-created relationship. As humans, we are transient, easily straying, very distractible creatures. Marriage and family is a symbol of the trinity, the unity of the Father (husband), the Son (wife), and the Holy Spirit (children). As such, there is a component of hierarchy, but it means to portray the unity and inseparableness of the relationship of God, born in love and respect.

Let me add this as I feel compelled: The Father would never abuse Jesus nor the Holy Spirit. He is Love. A husband is supposed to be walking in the footsteps of Jesus in this respect. If a husband is abusive, the entire unit breaks down. Jesus died so we could live and lived so we could thrive in joy and freedom. I am under the strong belief that God would not want anyone to stay within a harmful environment. You can be respectful but strong, loving but leaving, forgiving but not forgetting. God loves you.

To submit to authority of any kind, you must understand that the ultimate authority is God. If any authority figure of any kind wishes for you to compromise your relationship with God, you are not only encouraged, you are under obligation to not obey or comply. As shown in the examples above and throughout the Bible, you are a servant to the King of Kings before all else. All of God's children in the Bible and history in general refused to compromise their submission to Him.

So, to wrap up, submission is all about love, honor, respect, and living as Jesus would. God was never a doormat nor was he a woman-hater. Jesus is a rebel against all corruption even if it came from authority figures, protesting in love while remaining loud and strong. He is a true feminist. Although God has had to spread His message in many clearly anti-feminist environments (in the past and present), His message has always been empowering to women. Women was, is, and has always been considered equal to men in value. Don't mix up the world's message with God's.


I initially planned to write a post about feminism and another separate one about marriage. However, I had to first write this one as confusion reigns when it comes to the concept of submission, and that concept is tied to both of those subjects. Stay tuned!

Would Jesus Make Me a Disciple?

A couple years ago, there was a month or more that I had one verse stuck on repeat in my head, one that I hadn't ever really analyzed before. So, I didn't truly understand it: "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations."

When I looked it up, I found it's actually only part of the verse that actually appears in the Bible, so let's look at that:

"And Jesus came and said to them, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20

That is both a very inspiring (Go make waves!) and comforting thing (I'll never leave you.) for Jesus to say. Yet, what on earth does it mean? What is a disciple, and how do we make someone one?

Of course, I knew of the twelve original disciples who walked with Jesus, and I assumed it meant student, follower, or fan. Let's see what I found out.

Back in Jesus' day, a disciple was a devoted follower of a great religious or philosophical leader. Apparently, Judaism at the time had a system of education where primary education was taught by parents and schools until a boy turned age 13. When a boy turned that age, they usually went into an apprenticeship for a trade (like law, fishing, carpentry), but if they were particularly promising in the field of Hebrew scripture, they may have the chance to become a student or ahem disciple under a Rabbi. The Rabbi would only choose a select few from a pool of applicants to become his disciples among the most promising . The disciple would aim to become just like his Rabbi. He followed his Rabbi's interpretation of the scripture to the letter. A boy who heard the words "follow me" would be ecstatic as becoming a disciple was a rare and honored position.

However, Jesus turned the whole process on its head. He took the initiative. Instead of waiting for potential followers to approach him, he approached them. They were all seemingly random men, who were generally deemed not promising, who were already trying to make their way in a trade instead of discipleship. These men were sometimes considered scum (like the lawyer). No one would be making them disciples. Yet, Jesus did. He walked up to them while they were going about their day and said "follow me." No wonder they dropped everything and went to his side.

The first followers of Jesus considered themselves his disciples even after his death. The word Christians (Acts 11:26) was invented by outsiders who generally meant it as a derogatory term. So, if you consider yourself a Christian, you're a disciple. Yes! You! How do you become a true disciple?

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in Him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

You become His shadow and student, forever learning and humbling yourself to His interpretation of the scriptures. There are many ways to "deny yourself and take up your cross," one of which is to put God first in life. This brings to mind a church sign I saw the other day. It said "You can't follow Jesus if you're going in the opposite direction." If you're following your own path, you're not following His. Deny yourself and understand it may be difficult. It was difficult for Him too.

Now, how do you make disciples? Good question.

Let's read part of that verse that ran through my head incessantly:

" - baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you."

The verbs in that sentence are baptize and teach. You can teach people many ways, but I like to look to how Jesus taught. He stood in front of the masses, sure. He told stories with morals, yes. He also sat down in houses with families, in public with strangers. He went out of his way to heal, to comfort, to express affection (especially toward children), to lift up, to warn, to console and empathize ("Jesus wept"). He taught with words and action.

You don't have to walk the desert with just a staff in order to be a disciple. Love, baptize, teach, and remember you've already been selected as Jesus' disciple. Now, show the world what that means.

"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Noone is Good

The dichotomy of good vs. evil: It's an ancient idea, but you'll hear many twists. The eastern world has the imagery of the yin yang. There's no real good or evil but negative and positive forces which complement and complete the other. The modern, western world hates a simple good and bad; you may hear a lot about gray areas and how there's good and bad in everyone. Question here is: What does the Bible actually say about good and evil? First, let's start with a definition of good and evil, not from the dictionary but from the Bible.

What is goodness?

"And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone." Mark 10:18
*Good = Greek agathon = intrinsically good, whether it is seen to be so or not, the widest & most colorless of all words with this meaning.

"As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one." Romans 3:10/Psalm 14:1-4
*Righteous = Greek dikahyos = equitable/innocent/holy

"And do not enter into judgment with your servant, For in your sight no man living is righteous." Psalm 143:2
*Righteous = Hebrew tsadeq = to be right/clean/just/righteous/lawful/justified

"Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins." Ecclesiastes 7:20
*Good = Hebrew towb = beautiful, pleasant, agreeable to the sight, taste, smell etc.

The Hebrew and Greek translations of the words used vary little. The translations seem to point to fairness, innocence, clean, lawful, and pleasant beauty. However, if you look at the commandments and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, explaining the spirit of the laws, you can get a better taste of what it means to be good.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

So, goodness, holiness, and righteousness are summed up as love. If you love unconditionally, that is good; however, no one acts and speaks out of love unconditionally, perfectly for all of their life. Therefore, no one, including Christians, is good. "No one is good except God alone." Mark10:18 What is love? Everyone knows the verse spoken at nearly every wedding:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love selflessly seeks the well-being, success, and ultimate joy of others. Sometimes, it's not nice (read the New Testament to see Jesus wasn't always nice!). However, it's always KIND, and kindness is about what is best for the other person.

Now, what is evil?

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21
*Evil=Greek kakos= bad/evil/inwardly foul/rotten

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
*Evil=Greek poneria= iniquity/pain-ridden evil/toil

"He went on: 'What comes of out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person's heart, that evil thoughts come - sexual immortality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person." Mark 7:20-23
*Evil=Greek kakos & Evils=Greek poneria (See Above)

"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14
*Evil=Greek ra'= adversity/bad/disagreeable/misery

It appears to be the opposite of good, and that means evil is the opposite of love. That's hatred, right? Not always. Sometimes, that's apathy. If you seek constantly for the well-being of others, you can't be also apathetic toward them.

This world is so full of bad news about evil, and our current technology and social media makes it possible to stream this bad news 24/7. Just this alone can make a person apathetic as we become deadened to the evil just for the sake of our own sanity. I think this verse says it best:

"Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Furthermore, as we can tell from the translations, evil tends to indicate adversity, pain, toil, misery, and rottenness. Evil is basically the absence of love; it is like the vacuum of space in which nothing can thrive.

Don't buy into worldly definitions of our most basic beliefs. Let's not muddy the waters and add confusion. God is quite clear on right and wrong, good and evil.

"For God is not the author of confusion but of peace..." 1 Corinthians 14:33

That is why He is known as a light in the darkness, He shines clarity on a chaotic world. His spirit brings health to our soul so our fruits (the product of our actions) will be good.

The dichotomy of good and evil is real. There is a real battle every day for your soul. Everyone doesn't have good and bad in them; we are all bad without God. Holding onto Him as to a buoy in a storm, we hold onto His goodness and try to live life as He would, bringing hope to the world.



(Definitions are from Strong's Concordance)