Commandment Series: The Fifth

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

There are many reasons for this commandment.

"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." Romans 13:1

In an earlier post, we mentioned submission and how submission acknowledges the Trinity and our governance, as followers, by love and humility. In the Trinity, one might equate the Father to the husband, the Son to the wife, and the Holy Spirit to their child. Now, the Holy Spirit is a being in and of Himself, but He defers all attention to the union above Him. In the same way, a child does represents his/her parents and their character and family name. We must teach our children this fact as well as we can by teaching them the commandments.

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:7

Understandably, not every parent in the world is honorable him/herself, and this law does not necessarily mean to obey evil commands given by corrupt parents. One must always keep in mind the order of authority given to us by God. Parents (or husband after marriage) is an immediate authority; above them is the Holy Spirit, and above the Holy Spirit is Jesus and the Father. If you worked for a company and the owner told you to lock the door by 9pm but the manager told you to keep it open until 10pm, you would defer to the owner's words as she is higher in authority. So, although all authority is in place for a reason, you are not expected to do evil for parents, spouses, bosses, or government officials. If forced, it will be the authority's head on the block, believe me.

So, what does God mean by honoring our parents?

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you," 1 Peter 5:5-6

"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." Colossians 3:20

Children should obey in everything but evil. This must be assumed. Obedience is one way of honoring your parents, as they are in a position of authority in your life. It's difficult to be a parent, especially in this world of corruption that we have to prepare you for and defend you from, and it can be very difficult to be a child, too, navigating in the confusing maze of deciding between good and evil. Make it easier for everyone by doing what your mother and father ask of you. You will be lifted up in time.

"If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness." Proverbs 20:20

Don't wish harm upon your parents, and don't speak badly of them; this is another way of honoring your parents. I hope this is obvious, but sometimes, we become angry and frustrated with everyone in our lives. That includes our parents. You stand for your parents' name, so if you speak evil of them, what does that make you?

"Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old." Proverbs 23:22

From the moment we hit puberty, many of us think we know better than our parents. This is not so, and if you are wise, you'll listen to the words of your elders. You may learn something or not, but you certainly won't if you turn a deaf ear. Just being a good listener is a way of honoring your parents. Also, sometimes, as our parents get older, they become less physically and mentally able. Try not to become resentful of the extra attention, assistance, or patience they may need. For most of us, our parents were there for us when we were incapable of doing anything but crying, and it is little to ask for us to do the same for them. You will be in their position soon enough, too.

"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1 Timothy 5:8

This also ties in with the prior verse in that your parents may need you to provide for them whether that is because of age, financial disruption, or disease. You honor your parents by caring for their needs. As followers of Christ, we are called to love others and meet needs in the world with that love. If you can't love and care for your own relatives, you certainly can't love and care for strangers. Even unbelievers take care of their loved ones.

“You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord." Leviticus 19:32

If you should be respectful of your elders due to their authority and experience , the same goes doubly for your own parents. Let it be said that not all parents are biological. I feel strongly that if someone raised you, no matter who they are, they are also your parents. The 5th commandment pertains to them. Jesus honored both His earthly and heavenly parents.

"And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart." Luke 2:51

Not only your parents, but also your children, will treasure all you do for your mother and father in their hearts, whether they always show it or not. Don't expect any more honor from your children than you give your own parents. Most importantly, your Father God will certainly be moved by your actions, and He will exalt you for the love you show them in word and deed.