My Crazy Testimony

I didn't grow up "in the church," so churchy terminology feels strange and archaic to me. For the longest time, I honestly didn't know I had a testimony.

So, for those, like me, who didn't know, this is the definition of testimony according to Google:

tes·ti·mo·ny


/ˈtestəˌmōnē/


noun

noun: testimony; plural noun: testimonies

•a formal written or spoken statement, especially one given in a court of law.

•evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something.

•a public recounting of a religious conversion or experience.

What's interesting is the Bible and Torah has ideas that formed the backbone of many legal systems around the world. One of these ideas is the testimony. If you were pulled as a witness in a court of law and questioned as to the existence or the character of God, what would you say?

When I was 11, just about to turn 12, my aunt's boyfriend (who was Muslim) told me that Islam has something called "the age of accountability." Basically, this is the age people are old enough to be held accountable for their own actions. I may not have grown up in the church, but I grew up with very religious/spiritual parents, and I was very determined to be perfect for God.

I could envision a forest, each tree a person. In order to be noticed by God (whom I'd already fallen in love with), I needed to be the tallest one, and I figured the way to stand out for God was to be sinless. So, I'd been reading the Bible (understanding it in my limited way as a child), and in the old testament there are a heck of a lot of rules, laws, and ordinances. It was overwhelming for me at the time.

One night, I lie in bed and prayed to God. I needed something simpler I could remember, so no matter what I faced in life, I'd know I was doing the right thing.

Now, I was 11, remember, so I still believed in a magical God, in which many adults have probably lost faith. So, I expected to be answered, but not directly of course. Perhaps, He would communicate by way of a TV program or a song that would hit the right message.

I was hoping for a paragraph or something I could memorize. Surely, it would take at least a page to summarize the Bible's laws.

In the dark of my bedroom, I heard a single solitary word:

Love.

It was like a thought, but it also felt separate from me.

So, of course, I immediately started arguing with it. No way that was it. That was too easy to remember, too simplistic, idealistic, rainbow, unicorns ...

My mother once told me if I ever heard anything pertaining to God, to check the Bible before absorbing the message. If anything conflicted with what was said in the Bible, it wasn't of God. So, I turned on the light and went to my bookshelf. Picking up my Bible, I flipped randomly through. It fell open to a page in the new testament - Matthew 22:36-40:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

I can't even explain how dumbfounded I was that night. I still argued with the word "love" for the rest of the night, tossing the idea to and fro in my mind until I fell asleep.

I have since realized this event was too coincidental to be anything but God answering my prayer, and nothing has conflicted with the idea that "love" summarizes all of God's laws. In fact, Love is the meaning of life, and as the Bible will also say, God is Love.

This is one of the reasons behind this blog. No one but God can be perfect, but we will always be loved. We are also called to love.

That moment has shaped the rest of my life, and I hope my testimony will shape yours.