Commandment Series: The Seventh

“You shall not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14

Statistics show 19% of married women and 21% of married men admitted to cheating on their partners. Those are just the ones who admitted it. However, some people will define cheating as physical, some emotional, and others are deluded into thinking its not cheating if it's an "open" relationship. By the way, humans never defined marriage, so they can't define adultery. Only God can do that. So, how does God define it, anyway?

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:37-42

The Greek for woman in this verse is "Gunh" which stands for "a woman; specially, a wife:--wife, woman." (Strong's) If adultery is to covet someone who isn't yours, it is essentially about both envy but also the beginnings of theft. Now, of course humans are not objects which are actually owned by others, but they "belong" to one another in the sense of marriage. Their life together is for one another. In the same way as with any sin, even to foster the seeds of coveting a married person is a sin. As an aside, I believe it is not a sin to lust after an unmarried person. They belong to no one. However, if you are yourself married, be careful to focus on your partner. It is ok to observe and appreciate the beauty of this world and God's creations, but remember to tend your own grass so the other side doesn't begin to look greener. Once you water the seeds of that thought process, you are walking down the path to causing someone else to sin... which is a sin for you as well.

Does Jesus mean for us to literally pluck our eyes out if they cause us to lust? Well, I'm not saying no. I'm not telling you to do something so extreme, but the point is that you do whatever it takes, however painful it may be, to remove the things in your life making it easy to sin. Chances are good that the sin itself would be ten times more painful for everyone if you continue in it.

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18

This is connected to the idea that, for pre-Greek Hebrews, the soul with the body was the soul. If you sin with your physical self, you are sinning against your soul and vice versa. If other sins are all abstract, sexual immorality is a double whammy, hurting yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. As much as the modern world wishes to believe we can do things with others with no internal consequences, it's not true. We are connected to everyone we physically connect to, which can be a problem to those involved in adultery or pre-marital relations.

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 6:15-16

One flesh, like a married couple. I'm sure there are some things we don't understand about the connections forged, even unwillingly, between couples. Relations are meant for connecting and re-connecting emotionally between married couples. If this is taken outside that institution, it can bring more than just the possibly of a child (always a blessing!). It can bring emotional hang-ups, mental scars, loss of trust and connections with even future partners, etc. I can see some may not believe that, but I can also see that many who have never forgotten their past partners or the somewhat brief connections they shared that was ripped apart by the transitory nature of their relationships.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." Hebrews 13:4

"But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself." Proverbs 6:32

"For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man." Romans 7:2-3

Alluding to a prior post about the symbolic nature of marriage, the husband, wife, and children can be considered a mirror of the Holy Trinity. The Trinity is permanent, not in the sense of mankind's "permanency" which always ends even if it's at death, but wholly, immortally permanent. A marriage is also meant to be as permanent as we can make it as humans so the rest of the world knows that there's a sense of stability with God. We represent God is all we do, and that includes our marriage. Jesus would never serve another God than the Father, and the Father would never disown Jesus. It is unthinkable and impossible. We need this rock of trust in God and in our spouse. If we can not trust in the permanency of our spouse, the most permanent relationship we can forge with another human being, we can trust in no one. That's not a world I wish to live in.

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly." Proverbs 5:18

Adulterers punish themselves and those around them for their selfish motives. Marriage is hard because we're broken humans, but as Christians, we aren't just humans. We are children of God, the God of selfless love. We must strive hard to not even entertain the seeds of adultery so that our paths are easier to walk and clearer to view.


Sources other than Bible:
http://www.divorcestatistics.info/latest-infidelity-statistics-of-usa.html
Greek Strongs Concordance

Marriage Part II: Let's Talk About...

In my first blog about marriage and how it reflects the Trinity, it didn't really capture the multi-layered relationship that exists between couples. Ideally, marriage isn't just a symbol, and it isn't a two-dimensional, stale institution devoid of emotion. If it is for you, your relationship doesn't exactly live up to its potential as created by God. Let's return to the idea that God created an equal companion to man. He'd been busy creating and then declaring his creations good repeatedly until this moment. Suddenly, after creating man he broke this pattern and stated it "wasn't good that man should be alone." It wasn't until He created a female counterpart that He said his creation of humanity was good.

Of course, us women are amazing.

However, it wasn't just because of our general awesomeness that He declared humanity good and complete. It was because, now, man had a friend, a helper, a lover, and a person whose strengths matched his weaknesses. If you focus on the "help-meet" part, you miss the point. Animals can be excellent helpers in many ways for riding long distances, carrying heavy things, and even delivering messages (carrier pigeons are pretty cool). Yet, despite their ability to snuggle, they would never carry the same mental and emotional support another person would. Enter: women. We're all about that mental and emotional support... generally speaking.

Passion: It isn't always sexual. It's part of the drive for connection between a couple. It can come out in many ways through various emotions. Marriage can be like a rollercoaster; love, passion, and trust are what forms the safety bars and belts to keep us inside the ride.

We can't speak on passion without mentioning the Song of Solomon, the book of the Bible most likely to make you blush. We won't go into all the breasts like towers or gazelle necks (I'm sure it sounds more poetic in the original language). Song of Solomon has been interpreted to signify everything from romance to politics to the relationship between God and Israel. If you read it as a layperson, however, you'll agree it seems like a simple love song, meant to be sung as a duet. When you were a teen, did you ever write about a crush in your diary or journal? Bet it sounded like this.

"Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love." Song of Solomon 2:5

Gotta love the spirit of young love in this book, but it illustrates perfectly the passion and joy a married couple is meant to experience.

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3

After all, God created both pious love and romance, friendship and lovers. There's nothing scandalous in it.

"Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine." Song of Solomon 1:2

That's probably because, in my opinion, wine tastes disgusting, but the point is that the two are drunk off their love for each other. The point is: marriage is about all of this. Of course, there's a point in life when we are all just a little older and a little less likely to scamper for each other's embrace.

"Listen! My beloved! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over the hills." Song of Solomon 2:8

We shouldn't lose that joy for each other even in mature love. Our marriage may be less showy leaves and overhanging branches and more deep-reaching roots, like two trees that tangle one to the another until they are in essence one.

Yes, romance and lust are holy. I know this concept may push against all things you've been taught, at least by the world. In fact, in the past, religion, especially Christianity, became crossed with worldly confusion to the point passion and sex were considered a taboo topic, even within matrimony. It still is an uncomfortable subject for many. This is why I'm writing this today. They are but a reflection of the passion and joy that lies within the unity of the Trinity.

Here's a good place to discuss actual sexual immorality. I'm not going to describe what that encompasses for the sake of propriety (You can look that up easily in the Bible). However, I will state that immorality and sin are actions that cause harm, even if you can't see it immediately. Sexual immorality is mainly harmful to the soul.

There is confusion concerning a separation between body and soul. That, actually, is a Greek philosophy, not a God idea, despite the fact that some churches have adopted the concept. Either the body was typically seen as the evil that the soul was fighting against or the body's actions was seen as separate and, therefore, not affecting the soul. Both of those ideas are wrong.

As described by the Bible, there exists no duality in our being. We are a being of clay infused with God's breath and spirit. When Jesus was resurrected, they didn't find His body and then come across His soul in the street. His body was gone from the grave. Then, Jesus showed back up WITH His body when the disciples ran into Him later. This makes the idea of coming back to life even wilder. You see what you get, guys.

When you commit sexual immorality, you are committing it with your soul, your entire being. Likewise, when it says to treat your body as a temple for the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), that's because treating your body well is also treating your soul well. Consider this: If you and your spouse "become one" (Mark 10:8) and you sin, aren't you also sinning against your spouse? Interesting.

Aside from immorality, passion and romance is holy and an act of unity between two souls in love. It is what God intended for us to experience in marriage.

I wrote a poem while back that I'll share with you today because it wraps this subject up well. Whether you take it to mean romantic passion or holy fervor is up to you. (Disclaimer: I write poetry for fun not perfection.)

**

I, your flame

I burn
I burn, a kindled fire
Out of control
Flames lick my arms
Travel up my legs
Escape from the top of my head
Like a torch, lighting up the dark night
This dark night
Our grim life
Yet I burn
and You, a wind, fuel my inner flame
You, a hurricane, sweep my inferno into the skies
The stars dim in the passion
I am utterly without shame now
You are my storm
I am your blaze
Caught up in the fury of your joy

**

Marriage Part I: Beyond Mankind

Marriage is a concept as ancient as time itself, but it's been riding a rollercoaster of interpretation throughout humanity's existence. Whether the institution has been used for prosperity, security, business-like partnership, procreation, romantic love, societal expectation, companionship, convenience, status, or alliance, it's only ever meant one thing to God. Do you know what that would be?

If you say love, you aren't wrong, but the kind of love you're imagining may be skewed by worldly influence. You know what? Let's start at the beginning, the very beginning, before mankind.

The Alpha and Omega: Even before the Father spoke to the Son about making people in Their image and the Holy Spirit hovered above a formless Earth, God has existed in three. No doubt, in making us in Their image, They also made us need one another. However, since we're imperfect, we're also great at fighting that fact. We pride ourselves for independence and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.

"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24

One flesh. They aren't even two beings living their lives together because that could be a simple friendship. Marriage is two becoming one. Ideally, they are a unit, moving in tandem toward a single goal. I say ideally because we're still imperfect, and therefore, everything we do is too.

“'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6

Marriage is so unlike humanity, isn't it? Throughout our history, we've been on the move from country to country, changing our society, our customs, our language, our technology, and our very principles. We're never satisfied for long, and if left to our own devices, we go in circles from generation to generation, forever changing, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. That "let no one separate" imparts a sense of permanency very rare in the world.

"For I am the Lord, I change not..." Malachi 3:6

"Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." James 1:17

That is why He's our rock. We desperately need a solid place to hold onto in the moving sands of humanity. This sense of unity, unchanging loyalty, and inseparable love is what the Trinity wants His children to joyfully experience. Marriage is a symbol of the Trinity, born from His own state of existence.

This is a great place to mention divorce. Divorce is technically never good. The separation of any part of the Trinity is impossible, so any parting from that permanence and unity of that Godly love is not good. It'd be great if we could just never be harmful or abusive to one another and if loyalty and trust were forever for all marriages. This isn't so. God would never want you to stay in a harmful environment. If you or your children are being abused in any way, separate yourselves from that evil. God is love, and He loves you. Besides separating from an abusive situation, the hard truth is that God only permits actual divorce in one situation:

"Jesus answered, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning. Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”“Not everyone can accept this word,” Jesus answered, “but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'" Matthew 19:8-12

To me, He is essentially stating that, unless your spouse cheats, your "divorce" will potentially drive them to another partner (as we are all driven to companionship). Since God isn't recognizing it as a true divorce, you potentially caused them to cheat on you. Also, you're cheating on them if you move on. This is not to say you're sinning forever. Once you're married again, if you follow God's ways on marriage with the new relationship, you are forgiven (as you always can be). Even Jesus' disciples were shocked by this declaration, and Jesus basically told them if they didn't like it, then they didn't have to get married.

Marriage is not for everyone. Paul attested to the beauty of being a single follower of Christ in 1 Corinthians 7:7. Jesus said being unmarried in a good thing for some in Matthew 19:11. You can still get a sense of a Godly, solid partnership if use the same concept of the Trinity in other close relationships, particularly with believers.

As mentioned in the last post, submission also holds a large part in the structure of marriage, as it does in the Trinity. Marriage reflects, like a mirror, the Father (husband), the Son (wife), and the Holy Spirit (children). Submission is simply an act of servitude to others that all should follow, whether in authority or not. It's an act of love and respect. Jesus is in submission to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is in submission to both. The Father, in turn, serves the other two in equal respect.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33

If you confused or angered by the idea of submission, please read my last post on submission, just for clarification on the subject. Even better, read the Bible, and study the relationship of the Trinity. It's all good, and so submission and marriage is intended to be. In the above verse, the husband is to be held to the highest standard as he reflects the nature of the Father in the relationship, and as the Father utterly loves Jesus, so too should a husband act out of complete love for his wife.

Notice that Paul mentioned that marriage also reflects the hierarchy of love, submission, respect, and partnership of God and His people. A husband (whether or not the wife successfully serves him) is to nourish and sustain his wife in such a way that she thrives. A powerful woman is an asset and testament to a powerful man. In return (whether or not the husband successfully serves her), a wife is to be respectful to her husband, supporting him emotionally and spiritually. They are one, and if one falls, so too does the other.

If the partners and the good Lord decide that children are in their marriage plans, those children are Biblically called to be submissive to their parents (as is the Holy Spirit), serving in love and respect. In return, the parents need to act in love and respect as their authority figures while guiding their children's actions.

This all may seem obvious and maybe a bit repetitive. I'm only mentioning these things because we're all confused at times by life (I know I am), and we can get tangled in the mass of worldly marriage-how-to books and growing-children manuals. If you're ever in a situation where you don't know how to act with your partner or your child, remember the Trinity. You may be surprised how helpful that imagery is. God created it that way, after all.

***
Okay, so there's more I want to say on marriage because there's so much more to it within the Bible. I'm not sure if it'll be my next post or not. Thank you for reading my blog! I have more in store for you next Saturday.

Holy Spirit - Part I Old Testament

The holy spirit didn't just pop into existence in the New Testament. It's been around since the beginning.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters." Genesis 1:1-2

So, wait, what was the holy spirit doing floating over the barren earth? God was preparing to bring life to his creations! His spirit was present before even mankind. Would you stop at this point for a moment and contemplate this?

The holy spirit in Hebrew is Ruach (breath/wind) Hakodesh (divine inspiration). However, it is also described later as an individual sentient being. A being that existed, along with God (the father) and the Word (the son), before the creation of humanity. God, His truth, His love, and His ways have been around before us. Let's remember that. God's holy spirit is Truth no matter what our opinion is; it exists with or without us. However, He'd rather have us with Him.

"Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." Genesis 2:7

Now, the Hebrew word for breath used here was nashamah, which can mean breath or spirit (Strong's Concordance). Take a look at just one verse (of many) which speaks of the holy spirit as giving life:

"It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life." John 6:63

It's not coincidence that God also "breathed" a life-giving spirit into humanity. You didn't think this was just about a physical breath? One idea is that everyone was guided by God's holy spirit in the beginning. Now, after the fall from Eden, we must be re-born into the spirit to welcome His breath back into our lives. We are literally dead and without breath before we follow God.

Many times, the old testament brings up the subject of the Holy Spirit.

When the world became corrupt just before the Great Flood:

"Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years” Genesis 6:3

When God was preparing His people to create a glorious tabernacle as a sign of their relationship:

"I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts." Exodus 31:3

When God led Moses and His people through the desert for forty years:

"You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst." Nehemiah 9:20; also 9:30

When Job and his friends were contemplating Job's downfall in life:

"But it is the Spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding." Job 32:8

When people made music:

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?" Psalm 139:7

When God promised his downtrodden people that their lives would improve:

"For I am with you,’ declares the Lord Almighty. ‘This is what I covenanted with you when you came out of Egypt. And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear’" Haggai 2:4-5

What are the characteristics of the holy spirit? Well, one thing we can look at is the physical aspect. What the Spirit looks like can be summed up with its name. It is a divine wind, and like any wind, it is a movement that you can feel but can not see. You can see it sway the trees, and when it's whipped up into a fury, it can pull up houses. However, you can not see it, only what it does and how it feels caressing your cheek.

As far as its other various and complex characteristics, it is referred to in the Bible as the:


Counselor


Teacher


Spirit of truth


Spirit of holiness


Spirit of life


Spirit of glory


Eternal spirit


Spirit of wisdom & understanding


Spirit of grace & supplication


Spirit of son-ship *


Spirit of judgment & fire


Spirit of God/the Lord


When we walk in the guidance of the holy spirit, we can be assured we are living in Truth, not hiding in the darkness of secrets but living in Love of God and others, fully brave, knowing that we are meant for much more than just the day-to-day worries. As children of God (Spirit of Son-ship), we know we are children of the one, true King and are therefore also royalty; therefore, we know we should act accordingly.

This post will be only Part 1. Next week, we'll go into the Holy Spirit within the New Testament.

*"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15 (Abba is the Hebrew equivalent of Da-Da, a child's way of referring to their father with affection.)