Marriage Part I: Beyond Mankind

Marriage is a concept as ancient as time itself, but it's been riding a rollercoaster of interpretation throughout humanity's existence. Whether the institution has been used for prosperity, security, business-like partnership, procreation, romantic love, societal expectation, companionship, convenience, status, or alliance, it's only ever meant one thing to God. Do you know what that would be?

If you say love, you aren't wrong, but the kind of love you're imagining may be skewed by worldly influence. You know what? Let's start at the beginning, the very beginning, before mankind.

The Alpha and Omega: Even before the Father spoke to the Son about making people in Their image and the Holy Spirit hovered above a formless Earth, God has existed in three. No doubt, in making us in Their image, They also made us need one another. However, since we're imperfect, we're also great at fighting that fact. We pride ourselves for independence and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.

"Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24

One flesh. They aren't even two beings living their lives together because that could be a simple friendship. Marriage is two becoming one. Ideally, they are a unit, moving in tandem toward a single goal. I say ideally because we're still imperfect, and therefore, everything we do is too.

“'Haven’t you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6

Marriage is so unlike humanity, isn't it? Throughout our history, we've been on the move from country to country, changing our society, our customs, our language, our technology, and our very principles. We're never satisfied for long, and if left to our own devices, we go in circles from generation to generation, forever changing, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. That "let no one separate" imparts a sense of permanency very rare in the world.

"For I am the Lord, I change not..." Malachi 3:6

"Unlike them, He never changes or casts shifting shadows." James 1:17

That is why He's our rock. We desperately need a solid place to hold onto in the moving sands of humanity. This sense of unity, unchanging loyalty, and inseparable love is what the Trinity wants His children to joyfully experience. Marriage is a symbol of the Trinity, born from His own state of existence.

This is a great place to mention divorce. Divorce is technically never good. The separation of any part of the Trinity is impossible, so any parting from that permanence and unity of that Godly love is not good. It'd be great if we could just never be harmful or abusive to one another and if loyalty and trust were forever for all marriages. This isn't so. God would never want you to stay in a harmful environment. If you or your children are being abused in any way, separate yourselves from that evil. God is love, and He loves you. Besides separating from an abusive situation, the hard truth is that God only permits actual divorce in one situation:

"Jesus answered, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning. Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.”“Not everyone can accept this word,” Jesus answered, “but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'" Matthew 19:8-12

To me, He is essentially stating that, unless your spouse cheats, your "divorce" will potentially drive them to another partner (as we are all driven to companionship). Since God isn't recognizing it as a true divorce, you potentially caused them to cheat on you. Also, you're cheating on them if you move on. This is not to say you're sinning forever. Once you're married again, if you follow God's ways on marriage with the new relationship, you are forgiven (as you always can be). Even Jesus' disciples were shocked by this declaration, and Jesus basically told them if they didn't like it, then they didn't have to get married.

Marriage is not for everyone. Paul attested to the beauty of being a single follower of Christ in 1 Corinthians 7:7. Jesus said being unmarried in a good thing for some in Matthew 19:11. You can still get a sense of a Godly, solid partnership if use the same concept of the Trinity in other close relationships, particularly with believers.

As mentioned in the last post, submission also holds a large part in the structure of marriage, as it does in the Trinity. Marriage reflects, like a mirror, the Father (husband), the Son (wife), and the Holy Spirit (children). Submission is simply an act of servitude to others that all should follow, whether in authority or not. It's an act of love and respect. Jesus is in submission to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is in submission to both. The Father, in turn, serves the other two in equal respect.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33

If you confused or angered by the idea of submission, please read my last post on submission, just for clarification on the subject. Even better, read the Bible, and study the relationship of the Trinity. It's all good, and so submission and marriage is intended to be. In the above verse, the husband is to be held to the highest standard as he reflects the nature of the Father in the relationship, and as the Father utterly loves Jesus, so too should a husband act out of complete love for his wife.

Notice that Paul mentioned that marriage also reflects the hierarchy of love, submission, respect, and partnership of God and His people. A husband (whether or not the wife successfully serves him) is to nourish and sustain his wife in such a way that she thrives. A powerful woman is an asset and testament to a powerful man. In return (whether or not the husband successfully serves her), a wife is to be respectful to her husband, supporting him emotionally and spiritually. They are one, and if one falls, so too does the other.

If the partners and the good Lord decide that children are in their marriage plans, those children are Biblically called to be submissive to their parents (as is the Holy Spirit), serving in love and respect. In return, the parents need to act in love and respect as their authority figures while guiding their children's actions.

This all may seem obvious and maybe a bit repetitive. I'm only mentioning these things because we're all confused at times by life (I know I am), and we can get tangled in the mass of worldly marriage-how-to books and growing-children manuals. If you're ever in a situation where you don't know how to act with your partner or your child, remember the Trinity. You may be surprised how helpful that imagery is. God created it that way, after all.

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Okay, so there's more I want to say on marriage because there's so much more to it within the Bible. I'm not sure if it'll be my next post or not. Thank you for reading my blog! I have more in store for you next Saturday.